how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
