Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
