So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
