He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize