The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
