pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
