Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
