ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
