you turned your livingroom into a bong?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Randomize