I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You were trust falling into bushes
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
