And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
