SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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