he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
