sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
