did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize