is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
