shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
