I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
