and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
