Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
