If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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