There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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