I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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