I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
