Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
