What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
