i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
