note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
