Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
he's gonorrhea incarnate
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
false alarm, still single
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
