i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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