i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
