But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
