do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Damn victory sex feels great
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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