I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
