this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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