She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
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