well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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