Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
