Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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