dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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