So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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