would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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