You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
