I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize