i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
