Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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