im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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