you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
