I'm drive I can fine osifer
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize