I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
