Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
