My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
