Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
tell me about the eggs
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
