I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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