Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
