you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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