I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
