what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Randomize
