Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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