Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
