I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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