I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize
