Where did you get a picture of my penis
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
