You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
