loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
