OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
